NSCC Forum

Great game last night y’all. For the last few weeks there’s been a mean-spiritedness in the air, for which I’m in a large part responsible for fostering, and for which I apologize. I will refrain from the excessive abuse of other players, if for no other reason, because it only seems to make Dom stronger. But last night everyone put grudges and the shit-talking and such aside and played croquet, and my eyes are watering up as I write this, but everyone was a winner. It was like the Special Olympics but drunk. Somebody give me a hug. And props to Bergonz for his full page addendum to his bio sheet, reminding us what the spirit of croquet is all about.

Anyhow, Boyd was the big winner of the evening, bringing him up to a total of 9 points, and giving him sole claim to 2nd place. Jeff Orr continued his winning streak, scoring his 3rd point in 4 weeks. He also extended his taking me out streak to two weeks in a row. I think that there’s something in his O’Doul’s which heightens his perception, because he’s the only one drinking it, and he seems to be much more alert at the end of games then everyone else.

JESS! It’s about time you got on the board, and nobody deserved that point more than you. Have you ever missed a game? Your victory portrait came out a little blurry, but you can still see that game winning glow about you.

The final winner of the evening was me (Dave) and I’m naming this point Moses, as verily it shalt leadeth my people to the promised land. Or something.

So the next business at hand would be next weeks game, which Boyd has decided will be at Inspiration Point. As it will be the 4th of July, we’re gonna start grilling and drinking at Steph and Julie’s place around 2:00 and then walk up the block to play at 4:00. Then after the game back down the hill to T.P. the Navarettes. We should definently coordinate getting a keg before the game. Or perhaps two? So bring some grillin’s and sparklers and we’ll party like it’s 1776.

And I almost forgot, I’ve tracked down last seasons scores up ’til the last game, but for some reason I didn’t ever post those. Does anyone remember how the last game ended? Let me know if you remember anything.

Here be the standings.

Dom -12 points

Boyd - 9 points

Leighton - 7 points

John - 5 points

Bergonz - 3 points
AJ - 3 points
Jeff - 3 points
Dave - 3 points
Marika - 2 points
Melanie - 2 points
Jason - 2 points

Francob - 1 point
Mike - 1 point
Julie - 1 point
Nate - 1 point
Doug - 1 point
Chris D - 1 point
Eric - 1 point
Jess - 1 point

Everybody else - NPP

Something seemed a bit repetitive about last nights game. It might have been the poison battle, which played out identically to last weeks, although thankfully, much faster. Same pissing result though, with Dom beating out Leighton for two more points, and a total of twelve. There are so many little point icons on Dom’s bio page now that it crashed my computer when I tried to update his page. On the Dom web page note though, he tried to write his own bio page? That’s not how this works, I pay for and update the site so that I can talk as much shit about all the other players who are kicking my ass as I want. But I’ll take your submission into consideration, uninteresting, dry and self-fellating as it may be. Seriously though, I don’t mean to single you out Dom, it’s just that you have almost twice as many points as your nearest competitor and six times as many as me. Plus your bocci style borders on sacrilege. I can’t denigrate your skills though, that kick shot is fucking deadly.

But back to the subject at hand, Leighton’s additional point brings him into a tie for second with Boyd, and through the magic of a non-numerically based ranking system, brings John up to third place despite the fact that he scored no points. Jeff and Melanie also won their games, which doubled both of their points to 2 each. Kudos to Jeff for his impressive display of marksmanship during the last turn of our game.

There was discussion of a semi-seasonal bracketed game (the top 5 players on one course and divided by points all the way down), similar to those in a bowling league. We can’t change rules mid-season, but most people who were still there at the end seemed to like the idea of trying it out at someplace like Wash Park and considering it for next year.

Also discussed loudly and angrily, and for the third week in a row, was the issue of the starting post positions for the poison battle. Nothing new was settled on, other than that we should probably either find or rewrite the rulebook. So if you’re the one who’s hiding the fucking thing, please give it back so that it can be waved around wildly and gestured at during these discussions. Either that, or we should buy a striped shirt and a conch.

Next weeks game (Dom’s pick) comes back to the North Side and will be at Rocky Mountain Park. Here be the standings

Dom -12 points
Boyd - 7 points
Leighton - 7 points
John - 5 points
Bergonz - 3 points
AJ - 3 points

Dave - 2 points
Marika - 2 points
Melanie - 2 points
Jeff - 2points
Jason - 2 points

Francob - 1 point
Mike - 1 point
Julie - 1 point
Nate - 1 point
Doug - 1 point
Chris D - 1 point
Eric - 1 point

Everybody else - NPP

There’s no doubt about it now, Dom’s definitely on the roids. Either that or his fancy high end mallet gives him an unfair advantage. Someone should break it. Again. And hide all his electrical tape. But anyhow, the bastard won again, giving him 2 more points and a grand total of 10 (which gives him a commanding 3 point lead over Boyd, his closest competitor). Leighton got another point for a total of 6, which keeps him in 3rd. The poison shoot-out between those two was one of the longest and most drawn out in NSCC history. We should tie poison shooters together with a 20 foot rope so that they have to play on the same side of the park as each other. John also got one more for a total of 5, keeping close on Leighton’s heels and in 4th place over-all.

But the high point of the evening would have to be my point. At least that’s how it seemed from my perspective, although others around me didn’t seem to grasp the magnificence of the moment. I’m gonna name this one Tāwhirimātea after the Maori God of thunder, because I’ve got my thunder back. I’m subbing in a picture of Thor however, because he’s a lot easier to find pictures of, and he’s already carrying a mallet, which saves me time on the airbrushing and such. Also, I’m starting a shit talkin’ thread so that other people besides myself can voice their opinions on how weak the rest of you are.

So as is Dom’s fancy, next week is at Barnum park, right off 4th and Hooker. Here be the standings- Game on!

Dom -10 points
Boyd - 7 points
Leighton - 6 points
John - 5 points
Bergonz - 3 points
AJ - 3 points

Dave - 2 points
Marika - 2 points
Jason - 2 points

Francob - 1 point
Mike - 1 point
Julie - 1 point
Nate - 1 point
Melanie - 1 point
Doug - 1 point
Chris D - 1 point
Eric - 1 point
Jeff - 1 point

Everybody else - NPP

Y’all are a bunch of assholes. discuss.

Lots of chaos last night, particularly in dividing into the games and in the order of placement in the poison battle. Nothing was decided to smooth the start of the games, but the general consensus was that the poison battle doesn’t begin until all balls are placed, regardless of how far apart the players respective posts are. The terrain at Sunken Gardens was as brutal as usual, which made for a no poison point game. Despite the valiant effort by the parks homeless population, that has to be about the shittiest lawn in all of the Denver parks system.

It took me all week to get a picture of AJ, who stormed on to the leader board in game 7, and was then promptly removed the day after I finally got it posted. Bergonz also got knocked off the winners stand. Serves the two of them right for no-showing.

When we were attempting to determine the current standings last night, we were pretty far off as to what every one’s current scores were. How do all you bastards with points not remember what you have. Ungrateful fucks. If I had those points, I would love them and cherish them and give them all names. The one point I have is named Quetzalcoatl, as I had a dream the other night in which archaeologists dug up an Aztec Temple adorned with pictures of croquet games being played with human heads and discovered that croquet was actually invented by the Aztecs and Quetzalcoatl was the God of said game.

Dom got another point for 8 total, keeping him in 1st and furthering speculation that he’s been doping. Boyd was the over-all winner for two points and a total of 7, putting him in a solo 2nd place and within a game of first. John got one more for a total of 4, but not enough to keep him on the winner’s podium. Jeff Orr also won his game to get on the board with one. Next week is Zuni Park. Here’s how it stands. Game on!

Dom - 8 points
Boyd - 7 points
Leighton - 5 points
John - 4 points
Bergonz - 3 points
AJ - 3 points

Marika - 2 points
Jason - 2 points

Francob - 1 point
Mike - 1 point
Julie - 1 point
Nate - 1 point
Dave - 1 point
Melanie - 1 point
Doug - 1 point
Chris D - 1 point
Eric - 1 point
Jeff - 1 point

Everybody else - NPP

So sorry I’m a bit late on this y’all, but despite learning from last Tuesday and going straight home and to bed after the game this week, instead of to John’s stand-up comedy thing until 3 in the morning, I still woke up on Wednesday sick as shit and had to take a day off of work. Perhaps my sickness was a psychosomatic response to making my dumbest play of the year so far, and not only getting myself out of the game first, but giving Dom (the last person who needed my help) an extra point for poison killing me. Oh well, it’s still early in the season.

So the big story of game 7 was A.J. Boyd, who in his second game of the season, and in fact, his second game ever, started off with a poison kill, then won his game, then won the poison battle with a shoot-out against his brother in what people started calling “the Battle of the Boyds” for a grand total of three points, which moves him into a tie for third place. Dom, who was previously in a tie for first, is now firmly in the lead again after getting two more points, one with the previously mentioned poison kill on myself, and another for winning his game. He now has a total of 7 points after 7 games. Jason Ortiz got on the board with 2 after a poison kill and a game winner, Boyd won his game, which puts him and Leighton in a tie for second with 5 points each, and Chris Downing got on the board with a poison kill. I think I’m forgetting somebody, but I left my score sheet at home. If anyone remembers let me know.

So here are the standings now-

Dom - 7 points
Leighton - 5 points
Boyd - 5 points
Bergonz - 3 points
John - 3 points
AJ - 3 points

Marika - 2 points
Jason - 2 points

Francob - 1 point
Mike - 1 point
Julie - 1 point
Nate - 1 point
Dave - 1 point
Melanie - 1 point
Doug - 1 point
Chris D - 1 point
Eric - 1 point

Everybody else - NPP